the vivid vida
Three Ways to Think Positively
by: Jessica Antonio
1. Expressing Gratitude
What is gratitude? Robert Emmons, a leading expert on gratitude research, describes it as a “felt sense of wonder, thankfulness, and appreciation for life.” It goes beyond feelings of gratification. The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky goes into various reasons how expression of gratitude is beneficial for us, but to just list a few things:
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-promotes cherishing a positive life
-boosts self-worth and self-esteem
-offers a way to cope with stress and trauma
Personally, I like to record all of my moments of gratitude in a journal. I record events as big as passing midterms, to casual things like finding the time to call my parents at the end of the night. Listing things that I’m grateful for has definitely taught me to be appreciative of the little things in my life. Some other ways you could express gratitude are by reflecting on three positive things that happened before you go to bed, writing letters when you feel thankful, or even sending a “thinking of you” text to a friend that you really value in your life.
2. Cultivating Optimism
Optimists are often seen a naive because they only look at the positive things in life. This is a misconception that this book tries to erase. Optimism can be acknowledging the negative aspects of life, but choosing not to let these things affect their mood or the way that they see life. One way to cultivate optimism is to be mindful of how you process negative comments. It’s so easy to let barrier thoughts ruminate in your mind, so I like to take these comments and change how I think of them.
“You are too nice. People will take advantage of that” -> “Kindness is not weakness, and the world needs more people like me.”
“You take too many pictures of yourself” -> “I am lucky to feel enough confidence in myself to take this many selfies.”
“My friend hasn’t made time for me in awhile, they hate me.” -> “My friend must be busy, and I should check in and let them know that I support them.”
It’s hard to retrain the brain to erase all negative thoughts, but we can do our best to replace them with positive ones!
3. Avoiding Social Comparison
In the world where social media dominates in all forms, it’s so easy to compare your life to others and feel unhappy as a result. We wish to do more, and to be more, and to own more in order to feel superior. The first step to avoid these thoughts is to train yourself to be aware of when you are comparing, pause when you realize you are being unfair to yourself, and change focus from the original thought. Focus on your own strengths instead of antagonizing yourself, or the person you are comparing yourself to. You have qualities that others notice and appreciate too! Find time in your today to compliment yourself, because you deserve to celebrate what makes you great.